If I were Invisible, Would my Soul Still Seem so Dark?
“I wish that I could walk through a picture window and have the sharp, broken shards slash me to ribbons so I will finally look like I feel.”
Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t so good at faking. I wish that I wasn’t held up here on this stupid pedestal, presented with the challenge of appearing much more than I will ever be. I wish that the judgmental stares and rumors would subside, so that I no longer had to live this facade of a life. It’s one of those days..those troubling days..where my suicidal-depression and ED voices are devouring what little hope I still grasp here in my perpetual vulnerability. Addiction is calling out to me with a debauched tongue, presenting me with all the methods I use to fill this void. Yet, still I will hold on, because I cannot let go yet..I have to fight, because I have no choice anymore.
Rediscovering a Stolen Life 
I am going to the funeral today of my 22 year old nephew. Please stay the course. Call someone and reach out for help or go to a meeting. I don’t want another life to be taken. The pain the family is going through is unbearable. You are so loved. xoxo
I am so sorry to hear that..that truly breaks my heart..thank you for sharing this though..I will continue to fight. I promise.
I am praying for you and keeping you in my thoughts!
Thank you. That truly means the world to me.
You can and will get through this. You are absolutely not alone. ❤
Thank you. There is comfort knowing that I’m not alone. And knowing that gives me motivation to get better, so that I can help those other people.
You can not let go yet… You have to fight…
And just living like a ragged doll should not be the choice you adopt for yourself. Be happy… Be a part of the world.
I know its difficult but who said- life is gonna be easy.
So what if it is difficult, live your life with your own ideas, your ideals- make this life a pleasant experience.
This life must not be wasted… it must be loved and taken care of like a small child, demanding your full attention and your full determination.
You are absolutely correct, this I am of full awareness. Happiness is a choice, as is recovery. It is one that I, and only I, can make. I have to keep my faith in times like this, and look forward to the possibility of a beautiful life ahead.
It’s so important that you do use your experience to help others, no one knows better than others who suffer.
That is my goal, which I truly hope to accomplish. ‘Thus the reason I must remember to keep struggling forward.